If you are facing a child custody case, your parental rights are on the line, and securing favorable terms is paramount. While there are a lot of considerations to keep in mind as you move forward, you may not have given social media much thought.
However, social media can play a significant role in the outcome of your case, and if you’re a social media enthusiast who is committed to posting about everything in your life, the impact can be profound.
In order to protect your rights throughout the legal process, the most important first steps you can take are consulting with an experienced Killeen child custody attorney and reviewing your social media usage.
Social Media and Our Lives
Social media has earned a solid place in most of our lives. Even if you don’t post regularly, you likely do so occasionally, and you may leave comments along the way. Social media comes in many different forms that are geared to meet our needs, and a lot of us turn to social media to share major news, catch up, and even vent.
If you’re facing a divorce that involves shared children or are facing a separate child custody case that’s outside of divorce, you likely have plenty to vent about, but social media isn’t a great platform for doing so. There is virtually no expectation of privacy when you post on social media – regardless of how careful you may be with your security settings.
All it takes for a post that hurts your case to make its way into your legal proceedings is for a friend, acquaintance, or follower to grab a screenshot and share it with the wrong person.
If you are going through a child custody case, now is a great time to take a break from social media. You may also need to do some damage control with what you’ve already got out there. Your trusted Killeen child custody attorney will help you make the right choices for you.
Child Custody in Texas
Texas courts are concerned with supporting the best interests of the involved children in child custody cases, and they take many factors into account when making this assessment. Judges commonly use the following information to guide their custody decisions:
Your children’s ages and developmental stages
Your children's physical, emotional, medical, and educational needs, including any special needs
Your children’s overall mental and physical health
Each parent’s ability and desire to address the children’s needs
Each parent’s age and overall mental and physical health
The degree to which each parent has been involved in raising the children to date
Each parent’s commitment to effective co-parenting and to supporting the other’s close and ongoing relationship with the children
How close each parent’s relationship with the children is
Whether domestic violence, child abuse, or child neglect is relevant to the case at hand
How well the children’s current home, school, and community serve their needs
Texas courts are tasked with ensuring that children’s best interests are well served, and they take the steps necessary to accomplish this, which can include evaluating activity on social media. Your posts and activity on social media platforms could potentially come under scrutiny in relation to these best interest factors, which could directly affect the outcome of your case.
Social Media Evidence
Many forms of social media can be involved in a child custody case, and it’s important to remember that even if you believe the information you share is private or inaccessible to others, such as if you’ve removed specific posts from your accounts, it can still be subpoenaed.
In other words, it’s in your best interest to tone things down on social media – or simply take a break from it – in the buildup to and during your child custody case.
Your Pictures and Videos
You should never underestimate how powerful visual content can be. If you post photographic proof of your party lifestyle, it can harm your case. If your visual offerings suggest impulsive, risky, or dangerous behaviors, the effect can be worse. And if parental negligence can be gleaned from your shared photos and videos, it can seriously affect the outcome of your case.
Even if you’ve simply posted an endless stream of pictures and videos that speak to your very busy lifestyle, it can give the court the impression that you don’t have time to take on the primary custodial role. This assumption can interfere with your child custody priorities if your goal is having your children spend the majority of their overnights with you.
Your Posts and Comments
The posts you share and the comments you make on social media can say a lot about you. They can be construed to reflect on your attitudes about parenting and can even afford a glimpse into your emotional stability.
For example, if you spend a good deal of time badmouthing your ex, it might feel good when you’re doing it, but it reflects the following issues that are best avoided in child custody cases:
A lack of discretion on your part
Callousness in relation to your children’s emotional well-being – your children love both of you, and this brand of venting can hurt them
A lack of interest in successful co-parenting, which is the court’s overarching goal in child custody cases
In extreme cases, ranting and raving about your children’s other parent on social media could be interpreted as a sign of parental alienation, which can seriously damage your case.
Direct Messages
When you DM someone on social media, you likely think of it as a private message. This belief is somewhat true, but these messages can be subpoenaed under some circumstances and with the court’s discretion. The recipient of your messages could also share them with others, and at that point, they are likely to be fair game for your child custody case.
Text messages and voicemails can also find their way into child custody cases.
In other words, you’ll be a lot better off addressing the emotional upheaval you’re experiencing in a support group or with a counselor who has relevant experience than you are turning to social media for the support you’re looking for.
The Same Is True of Your Spouse
It is very important to note here that social media evidence works both ways. Social media posts can also be used as a tool to demonstrate your soon-to-be ex’s parental failings, excesses, or anything else that speaks to their parenting style.
The photos, videos, posts, and messages your spouse shares on social media could help strengthen your own case. Your dedicated Killeen child custody attorney will help you better understand your options in this context.
A Note About Context
While you may have shared a questionable post or two on social media, it is not necessarily reflective of who you are as a person or as a parent. For example, you may have shared the post, picture, or video as a joke, but the matter is open to interpretation.
We’ve all witnessed posts that backfired spectacularly. Such posts are generally attributed to the character of the people who shared them, but the real culprit is often not paying enough attention before sharing. The potential backlash that can come from well-intentioned posts is reason enough to give social media the cold shoulder while your child custody case is pending.
Cleaning up Your History
Nothing is really private on social media, and even old posts could make their way into your child custody case. However, this fact doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t spend some time cleaning up your act.
While shutting all your social media accounts down tight is likely to bring too much attention to the matter, going in and doing some tweaking – such as deleting those few posts that don’t necessarily reflect your best self – can serve you well.
Not sure which posts should get the axe? Consult with a child custody attorney to learn how to portray yourself as a parent in the best possible light.
Consistency Is Key
Texas courts are looking for consistency across all forms of evidence relating to your parenting, your ability to care for your children, your commitment to bolstering your ex’s relationship with your shared children, and your desire to do what it takes to be a successful co-parent.
If your social media activity checks all these boxes, that’s a good thing, but if it doesn’t, it can make the path forward more challenging.
Knowing that your posts are also subject to interpretation should make it that much easier to put the kibosh on social media until your case is resolved. And if closing things down completely isn’t in the cards, taking things down several notches is well advised.
When It Comes to Social Media, There Are a Lot of Ways to Go Wrong
All of the ways that there are to go wrong on social media haven’t been invented yet, but there are two common approaches that have earned a bad reputation in child custody cases.
Oversharing
Both divorce and child custody cases are private matters, and oversharing on social media can come back to haunt your case.
To begin with, it can provide your divorcing spouse with ammunition to use against you in court, but it can also tip your hand on your legal strategy, which could help him or her prepare a strong response. Your child custody lawyer will thank you for keeping your plans off of social media.
Finally, sharing your dirty laundry online also disrespects your children’s feelings, which isn’t fair to them and isn’t a good look in the eyes of the court.
Calling Out Your Children’s Other Parent
When you make derogatory comments about your children’s other parent on social media, it sends the clear message that you are not all in when it comes to being an effective co-parent and that you’re not willing to do what it takes to support your ex’s strong, loving, and ongoing relationship with your shared children.
The court is looking for parents who support one another in the children's interests, and engaging in name-calling or mudslinging won’t do you any favors.
Communicating with Your Ex
If you’re going through a child custody case, you will – out of necessity – need to keep the lines of communication with your ex open, and this need won’t end when your case does. If speaking face-to-face or over the phone isn’t a great option, you’ll need to turn to one of the following forms of communication:
Messages sent through a parenting app
Texts or emails
Messages sent through social media
Whichever form of electronic communication you land on, it’s important to remember that the content could find its way into court. Implementing each of the following tips can help immensely:
Adopt a respectful tone and use neutral language.
Stay off sore topics unless they are directly related to an issue at hand. When it is, take a neutral approach.
Keep your interactions focused on your children, their needs, and their scheduling requirements.
Using a parenting app for communicating with your children’s other parent comes with the added advantage of coordinating with your parenting time schedule.
Reach Out to an Experienced Killeen Child Custody Attorney Today
Brett Pritchard at the Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a knowledgeable Killeen child custody attorney who takes immense pride in his reputation for fiercely advocating for the parental rights of his valued clients in every case he ably handles.
Our practiced legal team is standing by to help, so please don’t put off reaching out and contacting us online or calling us at (254) 781-4222 to schedule a FREE consultation and learn more about what we can do for you today.