If you are focused on “winning” child custody, you probably don’t understand how child custody cases work in the State of Texas. Having a clearer picture of the legal process involved can help you better protect your parental rights as you proceed. To begin, working closely with an experienced Round Rock child custody attorney from the start is always the best approach.
Your Children’s Best Interests
Texas is as focused on your children’s best interests as you are, especially when it comes to child custody arrangements. Experts agree that children are universally better off when they continue to have close, loving relationships with each parent – except in extreme cases. As such, Texas is very motivated to give you and your ex plenty of parenting time with your shared children.
In other words, you win a child custody case when your children win, which means receiving a fair schedule that considers the unique circumstances of your case.
The goal is to ensure that your children receive the love and support they deserve from each of you. As such, your focus shouldn’t be on squeezing your ex out of parenting time, which doesn’t support your children. However, you can pursue the position of primary custodial parent.
What It Means to Be the Primary Custodial Parent
In some child custody cases, one parent takes on the primary custodial role, which means that he or she has the authority to decide where the children will make their primary home – within the mileage parameters set by the court. That parent will also have the children for the majority of their overnights. In other cases, parenting time is divided more equally.
Whether one parent becomes a primary custodial parent generally hinges on the circumstances involved. For example, if one parent has a hectic schedule or works nights, it can make dividing parenting time down the middle challenging.
Creating a custody schedule that works for both spouses is challenging. Discuss your custody options with a family lawyer to help you settle on an arrangement that you can both agree on.
Best Interest Factors
When Texas courts make decisions about child custody, they turn to these best interest factors:
Each child’s age and developmental stage
Each child’s needs, including any special needs
Each child’s overall mental and physical health
Each parent’s ability and commitment to effectively address each child’s needs
Each parent’s age and overall mental and physical health
The depth of the relationship each parent has with the children
The preferences of those children who are mature enough to be involved in the process
Each parent’s commitment to effective co-parenting with the other and to supporting the other’s close relationship with the children
The level of involvement each parent has had in raising the children to date
How well the status quo – or the children’s current living situation – is working for them in terms of their home, schooling, and community
The distance the parents live from one another
Any additional factors the court considers relevant to the case at hand
There are certain things you can do to help bolster your chances of being awarded the role of primary custodial parent.
Your Unique Case
Often, one parent becomes the primary custodial parent because it simply makes sense in the circumstances at hand. For example, if one or more of your children is very young, their developmental stage could play a role in the parenting time schedule.
If a baby is nursing, parenting time will need to reflect this fact, which generally means the other parent will have shorter but frequent visits but no overnights until the child weans or is able to spend longer periods of time away from the mother.
When Both of You Have Your Sights on Primary Custodial Parent
In other cases, both parents are interested in becoming the primary custodial parent. In these cases, factors like the involvement each of you has had with raising the children and each parent’s commitment to co-parenting will come into play. Generally, when each parent is well equipped to serve as the primary custodial parent, they receive more or less equal parenting time.
The Status Quo in Your Case
One factor that can make a significant difference in the outcome of your child custody case is the status quo. As mentioned, the status quo refers to how well your children are doing in their current living situation.
If your children have spent the majority of their overnights with you since you and their other parent separated and this setup is serving them well, the court may be more likely to maintain this status quo, which could land you in the role of primary custodial parent.
Texas courts recognize how difficult divorce and child custody cases can be on children, and they take every precaution they can to soften the blow. Judges generally prefer to impose as few drastic changes on children as possible, and as such, they are more likely to uphold the status quo when it’s working well.
If you and your children’s other parent live separately while your child custody case is pending, you’ll want to consider the status quo carefully. If you agree to move out until the matter is resolved, you’re setting up a situation where your children’s other parent is establishing a status quo that could support him or her taking on the role of primary custodial parent.
Each situation is unique, so it’s important to discuss your case with a seasoned child custody attorney to help you achieve your child custody goals.
Being the Best Co-Parents You Can Be
Ultimately, winning at child custody is about doing what’s right for your children and becoming the best co-parents you can be. If being pals with your ex isn’t feasible now, that’s fine. You don’t have to be friends to be great co-parents. In fact, you don’t even have to be on speaking terms to get the job done. You can always communicate through text or a parenting app.
At the heart of all good co-parenting duos is cooperation and a mutual commitment to what’s best for the kids. Look for the following signs that you’re hitting your stride as successful co-parents:
You demonstrate respect for one another.
You’re each ready to step in when the other faces a scheduling concern.
You each refrain from speaking ill of the other in the presence of your kids.
You promptly share important information about the children with one another and keep each other updated about what’s going on in their lives.
You are each prompt and courteous when picking the kids up and delivering them back to the other parent. When you are running late, you let each other know.
Even if you are fully committed to being a top-notch co-parent but your ex is not, it is still in your best interest – and your children’s – to continue being the best co-parent you can be. It will make your children’s lives easier and will demonstrate to the court that you take your children’s best interests seriously, which supports increased parenting time.
Supporting Your Ex’s Relationship with Your Shared Children
Another key best-interest factor is authentically supporting your children’s relationship with their other parent. While it may be difficult, it’s the right thing to do. Your children love both of you, and the last thing you want to do is interfere with their ongoing relationship with your ex.
Interfering with parental relationships can cause your children pain, and it can also indirectly thwart your goal of maximizing your parenting time. Texas courts take each parent’s commitment to doing what’s best for the children – even when it’s difficult for them – very seriously and may decrease parenting time based on factors like parental alienation.
A Note about Parental Alienation
The State of Texas recognizes parental alienation, takes the matter seriously, and qualifies it as a form of emotional abuse. In some very serious cases, an entire side of the children’s family can join in on the abusive practice, which can be that much more damaging.
If you believe your children’s other parent is engaging in parental alienation, alerting your attorney to the matter and addressing it in court is critical. In such situations, your ex’s parenting time may need to be limited – or even supervised – in order to protect your shared children.
Some of the classic signs that your children may be experiencing parental alienation include all the following behaviors:
They express a newly acquired disapproval toward you and may be hostile toward members of your family.
They justify their hostility, which may be based on minor issues, with odd rationalizations that may sound coached.
They may sound like they are parroting your ex’s favorite complaints and insults.
They may act like they have no guilt or remorse for treating you badly and may begin demanding things they feel you owe them.
They may adopt an idealized view of the parent who is engaging in alienating practices.
They likely believe that their rejection of you is based solely on their own experiences and that their other parent played no role.
Alienation generally comes down to making children choose between their parents while feeding the kids a steady diet of why the other parent is to blame for everything that has gone wrong, is going wrong, and ever will go wrong in their lives. While alienation techniques can vary considerably, they generally fall into the following categories:
Simply badmouthing the other parent on a regular basis and sharing his or her hatred or disdain
Refusing to share important information about the kids with the other parent, which can include having the children keep secrets from their other parent
Calling the other parent by his or her first name to the children and encouraging them to do the same
Telling the children that their other parent doesn’t love them and is potentially dangerous
Confiding information with the children that is not age-appropriate or that is unnecessary, such as about the pending child custody case
Making the children choose between the parents and withholding love if they don’t choose “correctly”
Limiting the amount of contact or communication the children have with their other parent
Getting Your Children the Help They Need
If any of these signs sound familiar, you not only need a skilled Round Rock child custody attorney in your corner but also need to get your children professional help. A counselor or therapist whose practice focuses on this kind of psychological damage or who has a good deal of experience helping children who’ve been victimized by parental alienation is key.
Legal Custody
It’s also important to address the matter of legal custody, which completes the child custody equation in Texas. While physical custody determines when your kids are with you and when they’re with your ex, legal custody addresses decision-making authority about the following kinds of major decisions:
Where your children attend school or daycare
The medical care your children receive
The religious upbringing your children receive
The extracurriculars your children participate in
The goal is for each parent to remain closely involved in the children’s lives – barring adverse circumstances – and as a result, many parents share legal custody, which translates to one of the following arrangements:
Making decisions together
Making decisions together with one of you holding tie-breaking authority
Dividing these decisions between you according to category
One parent can also be assigned sole legal custody, which involves that parent making these decisions alone.
It’s Time to Consult with an Experienced Round Rock Child Custody Attorney
Brett Pritchard at the Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is an accomplished Round Rock child custody attorney who appreciates the impact of your child custody arrangements and is committed to fiercely advocating for terms that work well for you and your children.
To learn more, please don’t hesitate to contact us online or call us at (254) 781-4222 and schedule a FREE consultation today.