If you make the difficult decision that you need a divorce, if you and your spouse decide on divorce together, or if your spouse springs a divorce on you, you’re facing a challenging path forward. Your first move should be consulting with an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney to protect your rights from the outset and help ensure that your final divorce terms work for you.
There are also several things people in your shoes tend to do but that are best avoided, and keeping these in mind as you proceed can help your divorce go more smoothly.
Don’t Procrastinate Gathering Financial Documentation
Your divorce is an emotional journey that will directly affect your parental and financial rights and will guide your post-divorce future. However, in the eyes of the law, your divorce is the dissolution of a contract between you and your spouse, and it requires a lot of documentation.
Divorce is a complex legal matter, and careful documentation is necessary to establish your marital assets and financial standing before you can address the financial terms of your divorce, including the division of your marital property and spousal maintenance – as applicable.
If you’ll be filing for divorce, you have the time you need to gather, copy, and carefully compile all of the financial documentation you need, which can help set the stage for a more efficient divorce process.
If you’ve been served with divorce papers out of the blue, it can make obtaining all the financial information you’ll need moving forward more challenging. Rely on your knowledgeable Round Rock divorce attorney, who will skillfully access the documents during discovery.
Don’t Ignore Your Current Financial Situation
Once you start the divorce process, you may feel financially vulnerable – especially if you and your spouse are living separately. While your instinct may be to open your own account, this can be interpreted as a sign that you’re not being transparent about your divorce financials or that you’re trying to deceive your divorcing spouse – when you’re really just trying to pay your bills.
The bottom line here is that your situation is unique, and your practiced Round Rock divorce attorney will help you make the right decisions for you while considering your current finances and the overall outcome of your divorce.
If Your Spouse Is the Primary Earner
If you and your spouse aren’t living together in the buildup to your divorce, it can make your finances especially tight – running two homes is more costly than running one, no matter how you slice it. Further, if your spouse earns considerably more than you do or if you stay home with the children, you may feel as if you’re at your soon-to-be ex’s complete financial mercy.
If you don’t have access to family funds, you’re probably going to need temporary orders for your finances.
Temporary Orders
You and your spouse can simply agree to how things are going to work financially while your divorce is pending, but if you and your spouse are having trouble collaborating, you’ll need to take action.
If you are facing a financial pinch and don’t know how you’re going to keep things afloat while you negotiate the terms of your divorce, you’ll need to ask the court for temporary orders that address your temporary financial arrangements, which can include child support and alimony (which is called spousal maintenance in Texas).
Don’t Fail to Take Your Temporary Parenting Time Arrangements Seriously
Whether you and your divorcing spouse make an agreement about parenting time while your divorce is pending or you go to court for temporary orders, you need to take the matter seriously. When Texas courts make child custody determinations, they base them on the children’s best interests, which are based on best interest factors like the status quo.
The status quo for parenting time refers to your children’s current living situation. Specifically, it asks how well their home, their schooling, and the community at large are supporting your children's needs.
It can take several months – or even a year or more – to settle your divorce, and in the interim, your children will establish a routine that works for them. If your divorce priority is taking on the role of your children’s primary custodial parent, leaving the family home while your divorce is pending is not advised.
Too many parents think these terms are just temporary and choose not to fight the matter, but by ignoring the issue, you’re actually establishing a status quo that could directly affect your child custody orders – and not in your favor.
Your dedicated Round Rock divorce attorney will help you establish your divorce priorities and take the steps necessary to support them, especially when it comes to decisions about moving out. Contact us today to discuss your case with a skilled attorney.
Don’t Fail to Take Care of Yourself and Your Children on an Emotional Level
Divorce represents a profound transition, and it tends to take an emotional toll on people. A primary relationship in your life is ending, and it’s hurting you and your children in the process.
If you’re the one who asked for a divorce, it can be especially difficult because you may feel as if you’re the cause of your children’s pain, and if your spouse instigated the divorce, you may feel completely blindsided. Either way, it’s not an easy situation, and treating yourself with kindness as you navigate the tricky terrain ahead is the way to go.
Seeking Support
Thankfully, there is a lot of support out there for those going through divorce, and it comes in many different forms. Many people find that getting outside and communing with nature is a great way to clear their heads and let go of life’s stressors. A brief daily walk – or any kind of exercise – may also do the trick.
Sharing your thoughts and problem-solving with those you know best and trust to keep your confidences can be a lifesaver as you plod through your divorce. If you find that you need more help, there are also divorce support groups and counselors who specialize in this brand of talk therapy.
Ultimately, assessing your emotional needs and directly addressing them by finding the right support system for you is key. If you’re not in a good place emotionally, it can make it that much more difficult to advocate effectively for your rights moving forward.
Paying Attention to Your Children’s Emotional Needs
If you’re going through a divorce, your children are obviously a primary concern, but you may be at a loss regarding how to make things easier on them. When it comes to your children and their well-being during divorce, they will be best served when you follow these guidelines:
Don’t put your children in the middle by using them to communicate with your soon-to-be ex.
Don’t bad-mouth your children’s other parent when your children are present.
Don’t discuss the mechanics of your divorce or the whys and wherefores with your children, but do explain any changes they’ll be experiencing before they happen.
Don’t ignore signs that your children may need more support, such as professional counseling. These signs can include withdrawal, heightened or flattened emotions, a newly acquired tendency to act out, and much more.
Don’t forget to be there for your children, encourage them to share their feelings, build fun into your time together, and honor old traditions while creating new ones.
When it comes to children’s best interests, experts agree that cultivating healthy, thriving relationships with each parent is critical – barring any serious concerns. In other words, supporting your divorcing spouse’s ongoing relationship with your shared children and being a good co-parent will help your children and your child custody terms.
Don’t Confuse Social Media with Support
If you’re one of the many people who enjoy turning to social media to share every aspect of their life, that’s great, but while you’re going through a divorce, you should consider taking a break. There is nothing inherently wrong with sharing your divorce journey on social media, but it can come back to haunt your case, which makes giving it a pass an excellent idea.
The words and photos you post can be misinterpreted, and if you choose to vent about your divorce, the information could eventually make its way back to your children, which can be very painful for them. Regardless of how careful you are with your privacy settings on social media, there is no actual privacy. A simple screenshot can make anything shareable and permanent.
Often, social media plays a role in divorce cases that go to trial, and it can do serious damage. For example, many people have made strong cases regarding their soon-to-be exes’ adultery by simply turning to social media. It can also be used to highlight a spouse’s unsuitability as a parent and much more.
Your posts are up to interpretation and may come off very differently than you intended, so it's in your best interest to stay signed out of your socials until your divorce is finalized.
Don’t Jump Right into a New Relationship
In the State of Texas, you’re married until you’re divorced. Even if you and your spouse are separated for a year or more while your divorce is chugging along, a new sexual relationship during this time is considered adultery and could potentially support a fault-based divorce.
While you may feel as if you have moved well beyond your romantic relationship with your spouse – and you may have – it’s important to keep Texas laws in mind.
During this limbo period in which you’re not in a romantic relationship but are still married and not free to pursue one, you may feel slightly adrift, but this limitation provides you with the perfect opportunity to focus on moving your divorce forward as effectively and efficiently as possible. Once the matter is finalized, you’ll be in a much better position to get back out there.
Discuss your case with a Round Rock divorce attorney to learn more about how adultery can affect your divorce.
Don’t Take Things Too Personally
There is nothing like a divorce to leave you feeling unsure about who you are as a person. After all, you said, “until death do us part,” and meant it, but things didn’t work out that way.
When you’re going through a divorce, it can also leave you feeling as if you’re the topic of a lot of gossip, and you very well may be. It’s important, however, to take stock of the situation. You know who your real friends are and that their support and loyalty are unwavering, and this is what’s most important.
While you may be your acquaintance group’s latest focus, take heart in the fact that you won’t be for long. Remember that just because people are talking about your situation doesn’t mean that they’re not on your side or that they don’t empathize.
Further, if you have friends with whom you and your spouse are both close, remember that they are also in a challenging situation and may need you to cut them some slack. These relationships will resolve themselves organically, and putting some effort into not taking things too personally can save you a lot of heartache.
All of this said, it’s also a good idea to take note if people you considered friends are anything but supportive during your divorce. You don’t need that in your life, and you can definitely do better.
Seek the Legal Guidance of an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney Today
Brett Pritchard at the Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a formidable Round Rock divorce attorney who dedicates his imposing practice to helping clients like you prevail with favorable divorce terms, and he’s on your side. Learn more by contacting us online or calling us at (254) 781-4222 and scheduling a FREE consultation today.