Parenting is challenging in the best of times, and every parent has their own views on discipline. While one parent may think spanking is completely out of bounds, another may consider it a reasonable approach. Much of this has to do with how we were raised, but there’s no denying that times have changed, and spanking isn’t as routinely well-accepted as it once was.
Ultimately, however, parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit in the State of Texas, and this can include spanking – within reason. If you have questions about disciplining your children in the face of a divorce or child custody case, an experienced Round Rock family law attorney can help.
Science Weighs In
The American Academy of Pediatrics has updated its policy on corporal punishment – or spanking – and, in the process, points to increasing evidence in support of its firm ban on disciplining children physically.
Their findings include that spanking a child as a means of disciplining them increases levels of aggression in young children and, ultimately, is ineffective at teaching them increased self-control and responsibility.
Further, they report that disciplining children physically can affect their normal brain development and, thus, cause harm. Their advice is that finding other ways to teach our children right from wrong—such as reinforcing good behavior—is both more effective and better for them.
Your Parenting Style vs. Your Ex’s
Regardless of our evolving stance on spanking, parents in Texas have the legal right to choose the parenting techniques that are right for them. This means that if you are against spanking but your children’s other parent spanks them as a means of discipline when the kids are with them, they are not abusing your children—as long as they don’t cross the line into abusive territory.
In other words – as long as your ex takes a reasonable approach to spanking – it’s their choice to make in the eyes of the law.
When Spanking Crosses the Line into Child Abuse
It is generally perfectly legal for a parent to spank their child as a form of discipline, but there are limits, and corporal punishment can cross the line into child abuse. Child abuse refers to the use of force against a child that leads to bodily injury, which includes any of the following:
Physical pain
Illness
Impairment of a physical condition
Telltale signs that the spanking may have gone too far include leaving behind a physical mark, such as a bruise or a cut. It’s important to note, however, that every case must be determined based on the unique circumstances involved. For example, children can bruise easily, and a simple spank that leaves a minor mark likely won’t be treated as abuse.
Situations when disciplining a child is more likely to be considered abuse by the court include all the following:
When the adult strikes the child above the waist
When the force used causes swelling, leaves a bruise or a welt, or requires medication
When a tool is used to spank the child, such as a shoe, wire, rope, board, or phone cord
The kind of spanking that is least likely to cross the line into abuse is when an open hand is used to apply a reasonable amount of force.
While determining the dividing line between reasonable physical discipline and unreasonable physical discipline, the adult who spanks must reasonably believe that their use of force—in the form of spanking—is necessary to discipline or protect the child. In other words, the act shouldn’t be capricious, impulsive, or unpredictable.
What about Other People Disciplining My Child?
If you choose to discipline your child physically, it’s one thing, but if other people do, it’s quite another. And if you never spank your child, the thought of another adult doing so may seem like a bridge too far. It is up to you whether or not anyone else is allowed to use discipline to spank your child, but it’s also up to their other parent, and you likely see where this is going.
If you choose not to spank and your ex chooses to employ this form of discipline, some other adults—in the other parent’s orbit—will have the legal right to spank your child. However, there are limits in this arena as well.
To begin, anyone else who has the right to spank your child must limit the force they use to the same reasonable amount of force that parents are allowed to employ, which means the same parameters apply. Further, only specific people have this right, and they include:
Your child’s other parent
Your child’s grandparents – if they have the duty of control over your child at the time
Your child’s stepparent – if they have the duty of control over your child at the time
A guardian of your child who has the duty of control over them at the time
Someone who has consent from either parent and has the duty of control over your child at the time
Another adult can physically discipline your child if they are acting in loco parentis—that is, acting in the place of either you or your child’s other parent—and have that parent’s permission to use physical discipline.
Family Violence
Spanking a child and other forms of physical discipline are perfectly legal in the State of Texas when they are considered reasonable and don’t veer into family violence territory. Family violence refers to any actions that intentionally cause bodily or physical harm or that qualify as assault. Abuse in this context can take any of the following forms:
Injuring a child in a manner that causes significant harm or that makes the child fear they will suffer significant harm
Causing the child to suffer emotional damage that leads to noticeable impairment in terms of their development or functioning
Any sexual conduct that violates the Texas Penal Code or that is harmful to the child’s well-being
The use of controlled substances in a manner that is harmful to the child
Producing or allowing pornographic depictions of the child
Intentionally causing harm to a child can lead to criminal charges.
Protecting Your Children
If you are on the fence about spanking, recent research may help you firm up your opinion on the matter. Consider a recent report from the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Their findings include that spanking – even when it’s within the bounds of reasonable physical discipline – affects children’s brain responses, which can lead to lasting negative consequences.
In fact, they liken the effects to those caused by severe maltreatment and share that it increases the child’s perception of threat. Ultimately, they found that preschool children and school-age children who are subject to spanking are more likely to experience all of the following:
To develop anxiety disorders
To suffer from depression
To have more difficulty engaging in school positively
To have more difficulty regulating themselves
For many parents, spanking is considered an outdated practice, but it remains surprisingly common, and parents are frequently divided on the topic.
If you have strong feelings about not using physical discipline with your children, sharing the latest research with their other parent may help you find a middle ground on the matter. Ultimately, you both want what’s best for your children, and approaching the issue with scientific facts rather than emotions might help.
Your Family Law Case
If you’re facing a divorce involving children, a child custody case, or a child custody modification case, and you or your children’s other parent disagree about spanking, it’s unlikely to affect the legal outcome. Only if either of you can prove that the other parent’s disciplinary practices cross the line into child abuse will it play a significant role.
If child abuse is a concern, however, it can seriously impact the court’s child custody orders.
Best Interest Factors
Whenever a Texas court is called upon to make child custody determinations, they do so based on the best interests of the children, which involves factors like the following:
The preference of the child if they are mature enough and capable of weighing in
The child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs, including any special needs
Each parent’s ability to effectively address the child’s specific needs
The child’s age and stage of development
The child’s overall mental and physical health
Each parent’s age and overall mental and physical health
The relationship that each parent has forged with the child
How involved each parent has been in raising the child to date
Each parent’s commitment to putting in the effort necessary to co-parent effectively
Each parent’s commitment to supporting the other parent’s close relationship with the child
Whether family violence, child abuse, or child neglect is a concern
How well the children are doing in terms of their current living situation, their schooling, and their community, which is referred to as the status quo
Any other factors the court deems relevant to the case at hand
Parenting Time Schedules
Texas addresses child custody in terms of physical custody, or parenting time, and legal custody. When it comes to assigning parenting time, Texas courts begin with the belief that maximizing the amount of time the children spend with each parent is universally beneficial, which reflects current, widely held beliefs.
As such, each parent can expect to receive a generous parenting time schedule – barring a serious reason for ruling otherwise. For example, if a parent is found to engage in child abuse – such as by taking their physical discipline too far – it can seriously limit that parent’s visitation, and supervision may be required.
Sometimes, one parent takes on the role of the primary custodian. This generally means that they receive more overnights with the children and that they have the right to determine where the children make their primary home – within specific geographic parameters that are not too distant from the other parent.
To move far away, the primary custodial parent must obtain the court’s permission, and it will only be granted if the move is in the children’s best interests.
Legal Custody
Legal custody refers to each parent’s authority in terms of making important decisions on behalf of their children’s upbringing, including matters like the following:
Where your children attend school
The medical care your children receive
The extracurriculars and travel your children participate in
The religious upbringing your children receive
Your options when it comes to legal custody include all the following:
You and your ex can continue making these decisions by consensus – just like you did when you were together.
You and your ex can make these decisions together, but if you reach an impasse, one of you may have the authority to break the tie.
You and your ex can divide these decisions between you according to category.
One of you may be awarded sole legal custody, which means they will make each of these decisions on their own.
Everyday decisions, such as disciplining your children when they require it, are left to the parent who is with them at the time – as are decisions that need to be made in an emergency.
Turn to an Experienced Round Rock Family Law Attorney for the Help You Need
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a trusted family law attorney who knows how challenging disputes about disciplining your children can be and harnesses the full force of his imposing experience and legal skill for every client he represents.
We’re on your side and here to help, so please don’t put off reaching out and contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 to schedule your free consultation today.