Putting your divorce behind you can be an incredible relief, but it is important to know that additional challenges lie ahead. There are, however, some helpful hints that can pave the way toward mastering what comes next.
Ultimately, you will determine what your future looks like, and with your experienced Round Rock divorce lawyer’s skilled legal counsel in your corner, you’ll be well prepared to maximize your potential moving forward.
Address the Legal Practicalities
You have taken the time and care necessary to negotiate divorce terms that work for you and your children, including parenting time and legal custody, child support, and property division, and it’s time to get on with living your life. It’s important, however, to take the time you need to address the legal practicalities that are likely to have arisen in the course of your divorce.
This includes attending to matters like the following:
Updating those financial tools that have beneficiaries attached, such as life insurance policies and retirement accounts
Removing your spouse from your bank accounts, your credit cards, and any other joint accounts
Updating your will
Updating your mortgage – as applicable
If you changed your name upon marriage and intend to change it back, you have the option of doing so during the divorce process. If this is the path you choose, you’ll also need to update your identifying documents, such as your driver’s license and passport, as well as any utility bills, credit cards, and additional accounts that are in your name.
The longer you wait to address these practical matters, the more challenging it can be to get the job done. It’s a good idea to carve out some time after your divorce to take care of these important details – so you won’t be burdened with them as you move into the future.
Become More Financially Savvy
If your spouse managed your household’s finances, it’s time to become more financially savvy. Many people in this situation feel intimidated by the prospect, but it doesn’t have to be terribly complicated.
You’ll likely need a tax professional to ensure that you remain timely and compliant at both the state and federal level when tax time comes around, and there are a wide range of budgeting tools that can help you get a handle on paying your bills and staying on top of your finances as you move into the next chapter of your life.
Focus on Co-Parenting Well
If you and your ex share children, your goal should be becoming the best co-parents that you can. While you may not have a lot of affection for your children’s other parent at this point, they are an important part of your children’s lives and always will be.
The more effort you put into facilitating an effective co-parenting relationship, the more you honor your children’s best interests, which is incredibly rewarding in and of itself.
Being a solid co-parent is not only the right thing to do for your children’s sake, but it also strengthens your claim to parenting time. For example, if you or your ex seeks a parenting time modification at a later date, the court will be very interested in each parent’s commitment to effective co-parenting, and your efforts will not go unnoticed.
In the end, however, doing what’s right for your children should be reason enough.
Seek the Support You Need
By the time your divorce is finalized, you may feel as if you’ve mastered the emotional component. It’s important to recognize, however, that putting an official end to your marriage can lead to emotional baggage of its own.
If you have more difficulty moving forward than you anticipated, the best strategy is to seek the support you need. This might mean simply connecting with old friends, discussing your concerns with a trusted family member or confidant, joining a divorce support group, or getting some counseling—whatever works for you.
Your situation will be unique to you, but expecting the emotional wave you’ve been riding to simply disappear because your divorce is coming to an end generally isn’t realistic. If you think you may need some additional support, don’t hesitate to reach out for it.
Journaling
Journaling helps many people find the strength they need to cope with whatever life throws their way, including divorce. Journaling allows you the opportunity to get your thoughts and feelings down on the page, which – in turn – can help you address these feelings head-on.
Journaling is a means of expressing yourself, recording what’s going on in your and your children’s lives, assessing everything you’re grateful for, and getting a better handle on all of this in the context of your life.
In fact, journaling is associated with a wide range of benefits that include being better prepared to cope with negative emotions, such as depression and anxiety, and reducing stress overall.
Letting Go of the Ugly Stuff
Ugly thoughts go hand in hand with divorce. You have been through one of life’s toughest transitions, and you should expect to be a little worse for wear.
While it’s not unusual for people who have just come out on the other side of divorce to ruminate about what went wrong, such as specific divorce terms that may not have gone their way, the level of betrayal they were forced to endure, or anything else, dwelling on doesn’t do anybody any favors.
When you pour your energy into what went wrong – with no chance of changing the outcome – you end up consuming a good deal of energy that could be put to better use.
While it’s important to face your feelings and work through them, there is also a time to put negative consequences behind you. Creating your best post-divorce life requires you to be present, which means freeing up space to take on what comes next.
With time, you’ll find that your negative thoughts will relax their hold on you. And in the meantime, it’s a good idea to fake it until you make it by redirecting your attention as needed.
Put the Focus Back on You
It’s easy to lose sight of yourself and your own needs when you’re in the throes of divorce, but once the legalities are behind you, it’s a good time to put the focus back on you. In order to be there for your children, you need to be on solid ground yourself, and that requires some self-care that you may have neglected while your divorce was pending.
Now that you and your ex are officially divorced, you’re likely sharing parenting time, which means that you may have pockets of time when all your attention isn’t consumed by your children. This is an excellent opportunity to do something that’s meaningful to you, which can translate to any of the following:
Fitting in a bit of downtime, catching up on shows or movies, listening to podcasts while you work around the house, doing some reading, or doing whatever it is that you find relaxing
Taking up a new hobby or getting back into an old one
Finding time to exercise, which can mean getting outside with a walking buddy, engaging in more strenuous activities, or anything in between
Spending time with friends
Being proactive by taking care of the details that help make your parenting time schedule more manageable
Working closely with a seasoned divorce attorney throughout the process helps to ensure that you’ll be better prepared to ably take on whatever comes your way once your case is finalized.
Do Some Decluttering
If you haven’t gotten around to decluttering your home since you filed for divorce, the time has come. This doesn’t mean you need to clear everything out of your place that even remotely reminds you of your ex, but it is a good time to put some thought into what makes sense for you and your children now.
A big part of this process is being mindful of your children’s feelings, which makes it advisable not to wipe away all reminders of who you were as a family – and allowing them to keep the photos and memorabilia that are important to them.
Think of this juncture in the process as your opportunity to refresh your home – whether you stayed in the family home or have moved into a new place. Your divorce is behind you, which means you likely have a considerable amount of divorce paperwork that you can either get rid of or can – at the very least – store away.
Getting rid of unnecessary clutter allows you to clear your mind and comes with mental health benefits. Many people who’ve been through what you’ve been through find that taking the time to rid their homes of clutter helps to streamline their lives, and you may, too.
Establish a New Routine
You likely had a well-established routine during your marriage, but while your divorce was pending, that may have gone by the wayside—or may have ceased to work for you. It’s not unusual to face scheduling issues post-divorce, which can include making your parenting time schedule work and getting used to a different flow.
A great place to start when it comes to solidifying a new routine that works well for you is
scheduling the non-negotiables – such as picking up your kids, dropping them off, and fulfilling
your work schedule – then working outward from there.
Setting unrealistic goals for yourself right off the bat isn’t likely to help much, but taking a slow and steady approach can make a big difference. Establishing a routine that works for you can bolster your sense of well-being and is more likely to stick.
Don’t Expect Perfection
Too many people who are going through divorce spend too much time comparing themselves to others. Your divorce will be specific to your unique situation, and your experience will be unique to you. As you navigate the divorce process, you’re going to have ups and downs, and doing the best you can in the moment is exactly where you need to be.
Divorce is not a competition, and there is no perfect way to approach it. Just as you don’t judge others who are going through difficult situations – you shouldn’t judge yourself. Allowing yourself this kind of grace can lead to healthier and happier outcomes for you and your children.
Striking the right balance is far more important than seeking perfection, which is unattainable anyway.
Getting Back Out There
If you are interested in getting back out there in terms of a romantic relationship, there are no rules you’ll need to follow. Your divorce is finalized, and dating is your prerogative. There are, however, some ground rules that tend to help:
If you’re not sure that you’re ready to date, take things slow.
Don’t introduce a new romantic partner to your children until you’ve established a solid foundation with them.
Don’t dedicate more time to the dating process than you have to give.
Dating is an excellent opportunity to meet new people, so have fun with it.
There is no predetermined timeline for finding love again, and if you’re not ready, you’re not ready. You’re the boss when it comes to your romantic life, and doing what feels right for you – regardless of what other people may want you to do – is key.
Discuss Your Case with an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney Today
The best way to approach rebuilding your life after divorce is by ensuring that your rights were well protected throughout the divorce process, and a savvy Round Rock divorce lawyer like Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard can help you with that. Your divorce terms will guide you and your children’s future, which makes getting them right from the start key.
Learn more about what we can do to help you by contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 and scheduling a free consultation today.